Happy Sabbath, friends!

Sometimes the world can leave us questioning what love should really look like. How do we know if love is real? How can we know if it is healthy?

Love is constantly questioned, redefined, and misunderstood in this world, but with Jesus, we do not have to rely on feelings alone. Scripture gives us something far more reliable. Love shaped by the Holy Spirit will begin to look like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

These are the fruits of the Spirit.

Love is not just a feeling, chemistry, attraction, words, or attention. Biblically, love should produce fruit.

Galatians 5:22–25 (NIV)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

In today’s message, we are going to break down each fruit of the Spirit and look at how it can relate to love — and what healthy, Christ-like love should look like when it honors the Lord.

Love

Starting with love itself, Scripture tells us that God is love.

Christ-like love is selfless, sacrificial, and centered on the good of another person — not simply on what we can receive from them. Our God is selfless, sacrificial, and always working for the good of His children, which is why He is the perfect definition of love.

If we want to know what love is supposed to look like, we do not have to look far. We can look to God and the way He loves us.

1 John 4:8–12 (NIV)
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

Joy

Joy is the next fruit of the Spirit. How can this relate to love?

Healthy love does not make us feel like we constantly have to earn someone’s happiness. Instead, it brings encouragement, gratitude, and genuine delight in one another.

Love should not feel like a competition. It should encourage both people to grow into the individuals God is calling them to be, while genuinely celebrating one another along the way.

When love is rooted in Christ, joy should not come from one person diminishing themselves so the other can shine. Instead, both people should be able to flourish.

Philippians 2:1–5 (NIV)
“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:”

Peace

Next comes peace…which, for those who have been reading my blog for a while, you may already know is my word of the year for 2026.

Peace is a fruit I have been intentionally striving for throughout this year. So what does peace look like when it comes to love?

Love should not constantly produce confusion, fear, instability, or anxiety. While every relationship will have difficult moments, godly love should ultimately be marked by peace.

Love should be honest, consistent, and sincere. It should not continually leave someone wondering where they stand or feeling emotionally unsettled.

When something is truly rooted in God, its fruit should lead us closer to His peace — not toward destruction.

James 3:17–18 (NIV)
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”

Patience

Love should also involve forbearance, or patience.

None of us are perfect — only our Heavenly Father is. Christ-like love gives people room to grow. It does not demand perfection overnight or become harsh when someone needs time.

Jesus is patient with each of His children. He does not force or coerce us into following Him. Instead, He patiently calls us, guides us, and gives us opportunities to grow.

That is the love of Christ, and it is the kind of patience we should strive to extend to others as imperfect people ourselves.

2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)
“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Kindness

Kindness is a huge one because it is not an optional bonus in love — it is part of the fruit the Holy Spirit produces in us.

How someone speaks to us, responds to us, and treats us matters. As children of God, the way we conduct ourselves matters too.

It is also important to pay attention to how the people closest to us treat others. Kindness should not only appear when someone wants to impress us or gain something from us. God calls His children to exhibit kindness toward every person we encounter.

Jesus consistently demonstrated compassion and kindness throughout His time on earth, and we are called to reflect that same character.

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Goodness

God is good — all the time.

One of the fruits of the Spirit is goodness, but how exactly does goodness relate to love?

Love desires what is genuinely good for another person — even when doing the right thing requires sacrifice or honesty.

Sometimes it is not easy to sacrifice something we desire for the good of someone else. Other times, goodness may require us to be honest about something that will be difficult for the other person to hear.

Christ-like love does not simply tell someone what they want to hear. It seeks what is truly good, right, and beneficial.

As children of God, we are called to exhibit goodness everywhere we go.

Romans 12:9–10 (NIV)
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Faithfulness

Faithfulness goes hand-in-hand with peace, in my opinion, because Christ-like love is consistent.

It is not warm one day and distant the next depending on convenience. Faithfulness shows itself through reliability, integrity, and commitment.

When someone’s words and actions are consistently producing uncertainty or confusion, we should pay attention to the fruit being produced. Christ-like love is not about playing games — it seeks to be honest, dependable, and faithful.

God calls us to be faithful not only to Him, but also in the way we treat those around us. Faithfulness communicates genuine care because it shows that our words, intentions, and actions can be trusted.

Proverbs 3:3–4 (NIV)
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”

Gentleness

Another fruit that reflects love is gentleness.

Gentleness is not weakness. Instead, it is strength expressed with care. It means handling another person’s heart with compassion rather than harshness, constant criticism, or control.

Look throughout the Word of God at the way Jesus approached people during His time on earth. Even when He spoke difficult truths, He demonstrated compassion, patience, and gentleness toward those who came to Him.

Jesus Himself described His heart as gentle.

If we want our love to reflect His character, gentleness should be evident in the way we speak, respond, correct, and care for others.

Matthew 11:29 (NIV)
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Self-Control

Finally, we come to self-control, which is incredibly important when it comes to love.

Real love respects boundaries. It does not pressure, manipulate, demand, or allow emotions and desires to override wisdom.

Self-control affects so many areas of the way we love others — our words, our anger, our physical boundaries, our jealousy, our reactions, and even our desire to have things our own way.

When self-control is present within love, it creates an environment where another person can feel respected, safe, and genuinely cared for.

It also helps us lead one another closer to Christ rather than allowing our desires or impulses to lead either person away from Him.

Titus 2:11–12 (NIV)
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,”

What Does Your Love Produce?

We have now walked through each of the fruits of the Spirit and looked at how they can reveal what real, healthy, Christ-like love should look like.

But I think there is an important question for all of us to ask:

What kind of fruit does my love produce?

It is easy to evaluate whether someone else is loving us well, but as followers of Christ, we should also examine the way we are loving others.

Are we patient?

Are we kind?

Do we bring peace?

Are we faithful?

Do we handle people’s hearts gently?

Do we practice self-control?

The fruit of the Spirit does not only reveal our relationship with God — it also reveals how our relationship with God is shaping the way we love others.

My prayer is that each of us would continually invite the Holy Spirit to transform our hearts and produce His fruit within us. May these qualities become so deeply rooted in our lives that they are no longer something we have to force, but naturally overflow into the way we treat every person God places in our path.

May our love look less like the world’s definition and more like Jesus.

Amen.