Happy Sabbath friends! I hope you have had the most blessed and amazing week. I hope you are now rejuvenating and finding rest now that it is the weekend, so you can be fully prepared for the upcoming week that’s ahead.

In my last post, I mentioned that I am reading through the book of Genesis. For today’s blog, I am going to delve into another story in the book of Genesis that really spoke to me this week when I was reading it. I hope the story blesses you, like it did me.

So a little back story…Jacob arrives in Paddan Aram, which is a land of the eastern peoples. He encountered his uncle, Laban, who had two daughters: Leah and Rachel. Jacob was very much in love with Rachel. So much so, that he worked under Laban for 7 years so he could marry Rachel.

“Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.” After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.” Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.” So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant. When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?” Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.” And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. Laban gave his servant Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her attendant. Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭29‬:‭14‬-‭30‬ ‭NIV‬‬

After reading this portion of the story, I feel so bad for Leah! It was part of their tradition / culture for the oldest daughter to be married before the youngest daughter. Marriage in their culture was based on birth order! So Jacob ended up marrying Leah, but then worked another 7 years under Laban so he could marry Rachel too! Poor Leah! How would you feel if you knew that the man you were with, and married to, loved someone else?! Unfortunately, I know exactly how Leah must’ve felt. I will delve into how I relate to this heartbreaking story of Leah after we delve into the final verses of Genesis 29.

“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon. Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi. She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭29‬:‭31‬-‭35‬ ‭NIV‬‬

As we established earlier, Jacob ended up marrying both Leah and Rachel. We also established, that Jacob loved Rachel, but not Leah. He was only with Leah because of the tradition / culture of marrying by the birth order. The Lord saw that Leah was not loved, so He ended up enabling her to conceive, whereas, Rachel remained infertile. Because of this, Leah gave birth to four children. When she gave birth to Reuben, she thought that Jacob would finally love her. Reuben can be translated in the Hebrew language to “He has seen my misery”. Jacob still did not love Leah as much as he loved Rachel, so Leah gave birth to another child. This child’s name was Simeon which can be translated to “One who hears”. Again, she was still hoping that since the Lord saw that she was unloved, that giving birth to Simeon would make her lovable in Jacob’s eyes. Jacob still did not love Leah as much as he loved Rachel, so Leah gave birth to another child. This one’s name was Levi which can be translated to “attached”. This time, Leah was hoping that because she gave birth to three sons that Jacob would grow an attachment to her. Jacob still did not love Leah as much as he loved Rachel, so Leah gave birth to another child! She named the fourth child, Judah which can be translated to “praise”. After having Judah, Leah did not hope that Jacob would love her, or grow an attachment for her, instead, she praised the Lord. When Leah realized that the only love she truly needed was the Lord’s love, that is when she stopped having children.

This story resonated with me so much that as soon as I finished reading, I had to write this blog post for y’all. It is so powerful and comforting because if you have ever felt unloved by someone, this can be a reminder for you that God loves you so so much and unconditionally and we should praise His Name for that! The reason this story about Leah resonated with me so much is because of the previous relationship I was in for about three years. I was in Leah’s shoes in the aspect that I loved someone so much, and they didn’t love me, and I was willing to do anything in order to get him to love me as much as I loved him. It’s ironic because it was almost approaching four years that I was with this guy and by the time it was approaching four years was when I heard God’s voice reminding me that I don’t have to prove myself to our Heavenly Father to be loved. God created me in my mother’s womb and loves me unconditionally, and that is when I got out of the toxic cycle and mindset of proving myself to this worldly man that I could be loved. I say it’s ironic because it took Leah having four children for her to realize that the only love she needed was Jesus’ love as well! Yes, I didn’t marry nor give birth to children with this worldly man, but I understand and relate to Leah in the aspect of what it feels like to be with someone and love someone so much, and they just don’t love you back. I also understand the feeling that she had in the aspect of “if i do this, maybe he’ll start to love me”, or “maybe if i do this, he’ll start to see my worth and actually want to pursue a future with me”. Believe me Leah…I get it and I’ve unfortunately been in that same place myself.

I pray that if you are reading this and have experienced the exact feelings that Leah and I have felt, that you are filled with the comfort of knowing that the only love you need to feel fulfilled is Jesus’ unconditional love. Also, I pray that if you are in a situation where the person you’re with doesn’t love you back, that you leave and put your complete trust in the Lord to lead you to where you need to be. You deserve to be surrounded by people who genuinely love you in the same way that our Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭38‬-‭39‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Amen.