Happy Sabbath, friends!
As much as I enjoy being single — and as much as it truly can be a gift — that does not mean this season will last forever. The Lord provides multiple pieces of evidence in His Word supporting the importance of companionship. Marriage is a gift, and nothing in our lives is random or overlooked by Him.
Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
From the very beginning, we see that companionship was part of God’s design.
Relationships Are Meant to Be Purposeful — Not Casual
The Lord does not wish for us to enter into relationships casually. The relationship He desires for each of us is never casual, but purposeful — with Him first, and even with our future spouse.
We are called to walk with intentionality in every relationship we pursue — especially with our Heavenly Father and with the person we may one day marry.
Amos 3:3 (NIV)
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”1 Corinthians 14:40 (NIV)
“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.”Ephesians 5:31-32 (NIV)
““For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
God does not support temporary attachments — He endorses covenants. This does not mean that every dating relationship leads to marriage. However, it does mean we should enter relationships prayerfully, purposefully, and with clarity of direction.
When casualness is sought instead of intentionality, it often leads to confusion. Covenant — and following the Lord’s Biblical standards — leads to peace and clarity.
1 Corinthians 14:33 (NIV)
“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.”James 3:17 (NIV)
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
Peace does not mean perfection. There will still be growth, conversations, and refinement. But there is a difference between normal refinement and chronic confusion — and we must not mistake the two.
If someone does not align with the Biblical standards the Lord so clearly lays out in His Word, the relationship will not produce lasting peace. When someone aligns with God’s Word, peace should flow from them because our God is a God of peace. He leads clearly, guards gently, and what He ordains will never contradict His nature.
What Should Our Biblical Non-Negotiables Be?
You may be asking, “I understand we should enter relationships with intentionality — but what are the Biblical standards we should hold as non-negotiables?”
That is a question I have asked myself many times.
This season of singleness has been an opportunity not only to grow closer to Christ, but to ask Him to shape my discernment. Intentionality requires clarity. Clarity requires discernment. And discernment grows when we are rooted in Scripture.
Creating a “non-negotiable list” is not about control — it is about alignment. It keeps us accountable to what we know the Lord has shown us in His Word. Over time, as we learn and grow, that list may be refined — but it should always be anchored in Biblical truth.
Before creating any list, spend time in prayer. Ask the Lord to align your desires with His standards.
What might those Biblical standards include?
1. Shared Faith in the Lord
2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
They should actively follow the Lord — not merely claim belief, but live it. Faith must be evident in both word and action.
2. Christ-Like Love — Not Just Feelings
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Their love toward you — and toward others — should reflect the character of Christ. If someone claims to love you but consistently dishonors, manipulates, or belittles you, that contradicts Scripture.
3. Purity and Self-Control
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (NIV)
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,”Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
They should honor God with their body — and respect yours.
4. Peace — Not Chaos
Isaiah 32:17 (NIV)
“The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.”Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
The relationship must produce Godly peace more than chronic confusion.
5. Good Character and Spiritual Fruit
Matthew 7:16 (NIV)
“By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?”Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Their life should bear consistent spiritual fruit.
6. Commitment and Covenant Mindset
Genesis 2:24 (NIV)
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
They should approach dating with intentionality — not casual consumption.
A Final Encouragement
Take time this week to prayerfully create your own non-negotiable list. Spend time in prayer before, during, and after writing it. As children of Christ, we are called to be intentional in everything we do — and to honor Him in it.
Always remember: before any relationship, you are already chosen by Christ. Any romance that requires you to compromise your non-negotiables — or your obedience to the Lord — is asking you to trade something eternal for something temporary.
The person you marry is the one you choose to walk beside for the rest of your life. Do you truly want to build that life with someone who does not reflect the character of Christ — the One you will spend eternity with if you continue to follow Him?
Do not waste this season of singleness. And if you are in a relationship, do not entertain it casually. Walk into every season the Lord places you in with intentionality and honor.
When we walk with intention, obedience, and love toward the promised land He has prepared for us, we will be blessed abundantly by our Heavenly Father.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Amen.
Saved By His Grace 
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