Happy Sabbath, friends!
Throughout my life, I have been faced with many moments when I truly felt and believed I was hard to love. I would encounter relationships where I did not feel good enough, or felt I had to change myself in order to obtain approval. I would mold myself into the person they desired me to be because, deep down, I believed they would not accept me for who I truly was.
Maybe this is resonating with someone reading this right now — please know, you are not alone. But I need to lovingly state that this is a toxic thought process. If you are ever faced with this feeling, please know that this is not from God, which means it is not love. Any love that demands self-abandonment instead of truth is not rooted in God, for the Lord looks at the heart — and His love does not require us to become someone else in order to be accepted.
Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
Breaking The Cycle Of Dimming Ourselves
As time has gone on, and the more I have sought help from God regarding this toxic cycle, I have come to realize that I should not have to dim myself or change myself in any regard in order to be loved. I kept thinking that if I talked too much, then I was annoying and unlovable. If I got emotional, then I was overly sensitive and too much to deal with — and the list could go on.
Slowly, I began believing that because of my shortcomings, imperfections, and mistakes, there was no way anyone could genuinely love all of me. I know I am not the only person who has ever felt this way, whether in a romantic relationship, within family dynamics, or among friends.
Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
1 John 4:18 (NIV)
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
The Truth We Need To Take To Heart
Despite all of this, I want to introduce a truth that not only I am choosing to take to heart, but one I encourage you to take to heart as well. The truth is that we may have surrounded ourselves — or may currently be surrounding ourselves — with people who have made us feel hard to love. But I am here to say this clearly: you are not hard to love.
In fact, there is Someone who finds it easy to love you. So much so that even when we are distant from Him, He still desires a close relationship with us. His name is Jesus. He has loved us even before we were born, and He continues to love us not only in our good moments, but also in our worst ones.
While people may have struggled to love me well, Jesus never has. His love met me before I was born, remains when I fall short, and still invites me close — even when i feel far away.
Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)
“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
““Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.””
John 6:37 (NIV)
“All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.”
Loved In Our Best And Our Worst
I have not lived a perfect life, and I am by no means perfect now. I have flaws, and I make mistakes. But what is so tender-hearted and beautiful is the truth that our God loves us despite all of that. He does not get tired of us or think we are too much — in fact, we are enough.
I think back to people in my past who only showed love when I was at my best. The moment I was at my worst or made a mistake, that love was withdrawn. The Lord does not work like that. He is present in both the best moments and the worst moments. When you are at your worst, you are not alone. When you are at your best, He is there cheering you on.
This is the kind of love we are deserving of — and why we need to stop the toxic cycle of changing ourselves to fit the needs of someone who does not love us the way Christ loves us. When we realize that we have a Savior who literally died on the cross because of the immense love He has for each of us, we begin to understand that anyone displaying a lesser love than Christ’s is not worthy of holding our hearts.
We are His children, and we should be cherished and prosperous — not broken down and dimmed.
Romans 5:8 (NIV)
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Psalms 103:8–12 (NIV)
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
Psalms 139:8 (NIV)
“If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”
John 10:10 (NIV)
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
Flourishing In Christ-Like Love
We need to stop believing the lies of the enemy. If you ever feel that someone is struggling to love you, that is not love. If you feel you need to change yourself for the benefit or comfort of someone else, that is not love.
In Christ-like love, you flourish and shine brightly. We are all different — some are more loud, others more quiet — but these differences do not make us any less worthy of love. It does not matter where you came from, what you have done, or what you are currently struggling with. What matters is whether you desire to follow the One who calls you worthy and loved.
2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
1 Corinthians 12:4 (NIV)
“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.”
Fully Known And Fully Loved
I can confidently say that when I am in Christ, I feel abundantly whole, radiant, and free to be myself. He knows my heart, and He knows yours too. Do not allow others to change you or dim your light when they do not truly know your heart the way the Lord does.
You are deserving of so much, and you are easy to love. I pray that we may rest in the truth that while some may find us hard to love, for our Heavenly Father, it comes easy.
1 John 3:1 (NIV)
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”
A Love That Delights In Us
Thank You, Lord, for loving us even when we may not deserve it or fail to show up well. Your love is truly the most abundant blessing. Please continue to remind us that we are worthy of a love that is altogether beautiful and fulfilling — just like the love You pour out on us.
Thank You for showing us that we are easy to love, and that in Your perfect timing, we will experience the same Christ-like love from the person You have written on our hearts.
Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.””
Amen.
Saved By His Grace 
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