Happy Sabbath friends! I am sure if you are reading this message that you may have a past that you are not fond of. Maybe you don’t have a past that involves being separated from the Lord in some way, but I know for myself, when I look back at my past, I don’t even recognize myself. Every time I share my past with someone, it’s like I am telling a different person’s story. It is very hard for me to share my past with others because there is a lot of trauma, shame, guilt, etc., that goes along with it. If I could do life over again, I would definitely not subject myself to the things I put myself through. The biggest part of my past that hurts me is I knew of God’s love and His promises, yet I still chose a life that did not involve Him. Every time I think about that, it brings me to tears because I feel like there has been moments when I look at others who have it so good, and they don’t even see it, and appreciate the goodness, and it’s frustrating to externally see. I look back on my past, and think, “why did you choose that life instead of one with our Heavenly Father? Can’t you see that all the anxiety, depression, etc., that you are feeling would simply lessen if you just chose a life with the God of peace?”. I will be honest…there are many moments in my present-day life when I do not feel deserving of God’s love. I wake up each morning, and when I really reflect on how much I have grown in the past year, it brings me to tears because if it was me, I would not have been so forgiving and merciful to myself. Yet, the moment I left the life I used to live, and chose to live a life with Jesus in the center, our Heavenly Father welcomed me back with open and loving arms. His love is so pure, genuine, and merciful…so much so, that it brings me to tears at the mere thought of that.

“he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
Psalms 103:10-12 NIV

It is comforting to know that I am not alone in this feeling of not feeling deserving of Christ’s love because of my past, as Peter went through the same exact feeling. Peter denied Jesus three times…not just once, but three times…during His trial. After the rooster crowed, as Jesus stated it would, Peter “wept bitterly”. He felt utterly undeserving of forgiveness or discipleship with Jesus. Doesn’t this sound familiar? In my past, I basically denied Jesus multiple times, and just like Peter, I was filled with the same feeling of being undeserving of any forgiveness or having a relationship with Jesus. The part that always brings me to tears is Jesus’ response to Peter later on.

“Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” “No,” they answered. He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!” Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?” This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true. Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”
John 21:4-7, 15-25 NIV

Every time I read this story in the book of John, I am brought to tears because Peter was me when I reunited with the Lord. Jesus could have easily casted Peter away, or confirmed the fact that Peter was not deserving of a life with Christ, but Jesus did merely the opposite of that. This was the third time that Jesus had an encounter with His disciples after He was raised from the dead (after His trial). Amidst this third encounter, Jesus and Peter were reunited and had a personal interaction. The first part that stood out to me when reading this story was in verse 7 when it is stated “then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter…”. Despite Peter’s past, Jesus still loved him. Jesus could have easily ignored Peter when He laid eyes on him, but He did not do that…instead He confirmed that despite Peter’s past mistakes, he was still loved.

Another part in this story that stood out to me was in verses 15-25. This was when Jesus asked Peter three times “do you love me?”. Jesus did not ask once, but three times as that is the number of times Peter denied knowing Christ. Peter each time answered with a confirmation of the love he had for Christ, and Jesus’ response was always a call to action. This is very beautiful as it shows us how reconciliation should be handled in a firm and loving manner. When someone hurts or betrays us in some way, we should not only verbally communicate, but allow them to follow through with their actions. Jesus would ask three times if Peter loved Him, and when Peter stated that he did, Jesus immediately had Peter show that through his actions when He responded with “feed my lambs”. It is easy for someone to state something verbally, but it is a whole other story when they can follow through on those statements with their actions. Jesus asked Peter three times, and each time, Peter followed through with not just his words, but his actions. When we are seeking forgiveness from someone, we should not seek it with just our words, but solidify the change and/or growth through our actions.

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
James 2:17 NIV

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18 NIV

““Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”
Matthew 7:21 NIV

For those who may be reading this message who may be filled with guilt, shame, etc., about their past mistakes, you can rest in the truth that if you choose to live a life with Jesus that He will meet you with love. The moment you choose the Lord over the life you used to live that did not involve Him, is the exact moment you will be filled with His peace. Our God calls us to not just ask for forgiveness through our words, but in our actions, as our actions speak much louder than our words ever could. Our God is a merciful God who loves each and every single one of us deeply. He desires a relationship with all of us, but He also gives us free-will to make our own decision on whether we want to follow Him, and live a life with Him at the center. Which will you choose today? It is not too late, and you are not too far gone for our Heavenly Father to welcome you back with open and loving arms.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 NIV

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,”
Acts 3:19 NIV

““Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.”
Joel 2:12-13 NIV

May the God of peace fill our hearts with His everlasting love. I pray over all who may be reading this message that they may make the decision to turn to the Lord, and allow Him to lead.

Amen.